So why don’t people hear what you think you said?

Sometimes people won’t hear us because they’ve had a bad day. They may be preoccupied. They may be turned off by any number of things. They might assume we’re talking to them only because we want something or that we’re going to give them a lecture and that we don’t really care about them. Listeners often don’t hear because they have a preconceived notion of what’s going to be said. Haven’t we all said, “I know what you’re going to say before you’re done saying it”? They can’t hear us because they can’t suspend their own needs or because what we say makes them anxious. Other times, we do not say what we want due to anxiety, pressure or fear.

Good communication is having the impact you mean to have. That is, intent equals impact. Every message must pass first through the filter of the speaker’s clarity of expression and second through the listener’s ability to hear what we said. Sometimes as a listener, we have our own agenda.

It’s important to take pride in listening to another person. It makes them feel that you’re interpreting their information correctly. Your power and influence increases each time you are perceived as an excellent Listener.

This week, get a free coaching session if you purchase “Learning to Listen: Did you hear what I think I said?” E-mail Dr. Brian directly to get a free report on Learning to Listen.