Remember elementary school? You may have said something that was incorrect or offensive, and immediately said, “I take it back, you can’t be angry.”

Well, as adults, you can’t take it back. Once a person says something that is offensive, and it is perceived as intentional, you lose credibility, respect and influence. Liberals, conservatives, Republican, Democrat, business owners have all said inflammatory remarks. Most recently, Glenn Beck had advertisers withdraw form his program. While ratings may stay the same, incoming money flow has been impacted.

When you want to be heard, understood, and have your opinion listened to, and even responded to, professional decorum and respect is critical. At home and work, it is difficult to repair damage from poor communication. Getting a reputation as a malcontent, putting your foot in your mouth, or other mistakes can cost a relationship, promotion or a job.

Communication or speaking with a professional manner leads to success and a great reputation. Integrity and respect will follow you.

Whether you like an individual, boss or political figure is not necessary. Treating a boss, friend, significant other, friend, political figure, customer well provides long term benefits.

5 Tips for professional communication:

1) Think before you speak: If you are feeling insulted, surprised by someone else, caught off guard, your gut instinct response is probably incorrect. Take a breath, think before you say something.

2) Scripting: Use communications scripts. Short statements that you can memorize to use under pressure. Use “I” statements instead of “you” comments. ” I think, I prefer, I wonder if, it seems like.”

3) Make eye contact: When you make eye contact with a person, no matter their title, you equalize the power in the moment. The other person tends to back off or calm down.

4) Ask a question: If a person comes on particularly strong or overwhelms you, ask a ended question about why they are upset. “I wonder if your upset about, What’s really going on here, I want to resolve this with you.”

5) Walk away: If you are overwhelmed, upset or can’t respond, simply say, ” I am so upset, or I need you to ca,m down, let’s take a break.”

Dr. Brian Grossman is a communication expert. If you would like a free report on Listening for profits, a coaching session or other information on how Dr. Brian can optimize your communication, e-mail him at DrBrian@DrBrianGrossman.com

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