The following was written by Dr. Gary Seigel, author of The Mouth Trap. E-mail Dr. Gary at Gary@TheMouthTrap.com. Check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ConsultantInsultant Wednesday morning at 8:00 AM, hosted by Dr Brian & Dr. Gary.

I recently had a conversation with Jody, an accounting expert at a large private gourmet food chain in Southern California:

My boss recently exploded when I told him I was not up to speed on this new software we installed.

“You took a tutorial in it, didn’t you?” he yelled at me. He was obviously frustrated because we were behind in getting the data to the accountant, and I suppose the bank was holding back a loan until these figures were turned in.

“Look, Ernie,” I said. “I have only been working on this for a week, and the tutorial was only half helpful. I have so many questions and it would be great if I take a whole day class in it at the software facility in Cleveland.”…

“Cleveland, are you nuts!”

“Well it’s a two day thing but that will get ME up to speed, and we’ll meet all our deadlines that way. I asked to go before. In fact, the manufacturer recommended it and included the tuition in the cost of the software package, but you said we couldn’t afford the time.”

Rather than sit and discuss this with me, Ernie stormed out – Ernie’s usual way – and I could hear him say to other workers in the hallway “Now she wants to go to Cleveland. I can’t believe it. She knows how important this data is and she can’t take the time to figure it out on her own. I have shpilcas just thinking about it!”

He slammed his door shut, and I just sat in my cubicle crying. When I got some composure I walked in, put a course description I had taken off the Internet and slapped it on his desk. The seminar — taught here locally over the next few weeks was called How to Work more effectively with Employees. And all I said to him was –“ You should take this class and I should go to Cleveland. Agreed?”

Jody called to ask my opinion of how she handled it, and what she should do.
Here’s what I said:

I said her attempt to correct her boss’s behavior may have been well-intentioned, but she took a passive-aggressive approach that will undermine their relationship.
The real problem here is the boss’s perception of training. Had he understood the importance of taking an actual course – taught by experts – in the actual software facility – he might have approved that trip weeks ago. She’d up to speed. End of story.

How many companies often wait to pay for expensive training until a bomb goes off? Then the boss sends the employees to school to learn how to diffuse the bomb the next time it goes off.

The chances are the boss’s reaction really had little to do with Jody. He was frustrated that he had not made the right decisions a month ago – and sent Jody to the training, as was recommended by the software manufacturer.

Now as far as Jody’s response – this was explosive. Yes, the boss may benefit from communication training, but it’s awkward and probably out of place for an employee to insist her boss takes a tact and finesse workshop. There might have been better ways the two of them could have dealt with this situation, especially since time was of the essence. The bank needs the data. Jody must get put o speed so she can meet the company’s expectations. And the boss needs to learn how to communicate more effectively under pressure.

How does one deal with all these different issues? Blogtalkradio.com Check in On Line Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 8:00 AM PST for the Consultant/Insultant Radio show.